Morose Writing

The thing about living with a mental disorder is it is something you have to pretend doesn't phase you. Depression and anxiety are opposites. Anxiety makes you care about everything, Depression makes you care about nothing. Anxiety makes you paranoid and trapped. Like a cage. But that cage is yourself. Why do you think it's called a rib cage. It holds your heart and lungs hostage, while also protecting them. Depression is the friend that anxiety felt obligated to bring to the party. I am the party.Only I am a party that I don't want to be at. It's hard to have fun when I don't WANT to have fun.

It's hard to get out of bed some days, but I can't tell anyone that because all i get is, "You're overreacting." "You're just doing it for attention." "It's just a phase, you'll get over it." But if this is a "phase" it's a really freakin' long phase. And if it really is a phase it needs to go away already, because frankly, I'm tired of it. That seems to be the back up for everything though. If someone doesn't like what you're doing or what you're wearing, or who you love, or what you look like than it's a "phase." Especially with adults. They tell you to do what you believe in but bash you as soon as it goes against their beliefs. Sticks and stones break my bones, but words hurt me too.

People just don't understand feelings anymore. If you don't feel anything you're heartless, if you feel too much you're a wuss. Women want men who are sensitive but get on them about "not being a man." Things like is what stems anxiety and depression, which usually leads to suicidal tendencies. Society has screwed us up. And I don't think we're getting fixed anytime soon.